Kate Beckett (
fanofthegenre) wrote2010-02-09 08:03 pm
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[ late night at the precinct ]
Long nights of paperwork are nothing new for Beckett.
Spending the dull hours of the evening filing away even duller paperwork is a routine she's grown accustomed to; the life of a detective isn't always preoccupied with chasing down a suspect or interrogating a guilty party. Sometimes, there's the moments that aren't always worth writing about, the files she somehow manages to let pile up while she's doing the more exciting parts of her job. It's a vicious cycle, the way the tedious work tends to sneak up on her when she's least expecting it.
Every now and then, her eyes flick to the clock, tracking the time, gauging how many hours she has left to finish what she's working on before she'll be getting absolutely no sleep at all. She's the only one here, apart from the night guard working the desk downstairs, and every now and then she stops to stretch, or to refresh her coffee after fiddling with some of the dials on the espresso machine - the machine that nearly requires a PhD from Starbucks to know how to use.
Sitting back down again at her desk, she rolls her shoulders and then her neck, settling in to wrap up a few last-minute details on the open file in front of her.
Spending the dull hours of the evening filing away even duller paperwork is a routine she's grown accustomed to; the life of a detective isn't always preoccupied with chasing down a suspect or interrogating a guilty party. Sometimes, there's the moments that aren't always worth writing about, the files she somehow manages to let pile up while she's doing the more exciting parts of her job. It's a vicious cycle, the way the tedious work tends to sneak up on her when she's least expecting it.
Every now and then, her eyes flick to the clock, tracking the time, gauging how many hours she has left to finish what she's working on before she'll be getting absolutely no sleep at all. She's the only one here, apart from the night guard working the desk downstairs, and every now and then she stops to stretch, or to refresh her coffee after fiddling with some of the dials on the espresso machine - the machine that nearly requires a PhD from Starbucks to know how to use.
Sitting back down again at her desk, she rolls her shoulders and then her neck, settling in to wrap up a few last-minute details on the open file in front of her.
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"Guess I made an impression," he says, then winces when he sees the photo of himself on the back of the dust jacket. "I mean, look at me --" he holds up the book, a younger, more Top Gun haircut'd Richard Castle staring back at her "-- were we ever so young? Or into Soundgarden?"
He slides the book back onto the shelf.
"Nice jim-jams, by the way."
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"It's hard to believe, isn't it?"
She crosses the room to the shelf he's standing by, plucking up a photo in a simple silver frame, and hands it to him. It's her and her mother, years ago, both tanned and happy. A young Kate Beckett is all legs in this photo, hair cropped short, a smattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose, free of the weight of responsibility. It's a reminder of simpler times.
"I'd lend you something to wear, but it'd be about three sizes too small, and you'd look ridiculous," she jokes, watching his face as he glances over the picture.
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"Don't worry. I'm used to spending the night in my clothes. And I'm used to couches." His hint to her that he's okay with crashing on the floor or the couch or wherever she decides to put him.
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"I don't know what that says about you, but it's a pull-out, so it's not too awful. I'll go grab some sheets," she murmurs, and sets off to do just that.
When she returns, a stack of blankets, sheets and a pillow in her arms, she sets to work on making up the makeshift mattress, pulling the couch cushions off and gently laying them aside.
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He finally gets the frame onto the floor, the mattress flopping tiredly in tow. Castle grins, running a hand through his hair. 'Gives Beckett a rogue's grin. "Thank god we grow up, right?"
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It's then that the thought hits her. She's been having difficulty sleeping since the night Coonan was shot: to the tune of screaming, even, on the particularly bad nightmares. She tries not to allow the concern to show in her face, but there's a worry there that Castle will discover this has been hitting her harder than she's chosen to reveal.
She turns away under the guise of fluffing up the pillow.
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The edge of the sheet's come up on her side as they've been tugging and pulling and Castle leans over the mattress to shove the corner back into place. While amending, he says, "Anyway, I really appreciate this. And I promise --" he straightens and makes an invisible 'x' across his chest "-- I'll be on my best behavior."
A beat.
"Now, where do you keep your unmentionables?"
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"Same place I keep my guns," she adds smoothly, moving around to his side of the mattress to tuck the blanket underneath the edge. She straightens up with a sigh, looking down at the handiwork.
"Well, I guess that's everything. Bathroom's down there, and my room, but I'm fairly certain you'll only need to find one of those in the middle of the night."
She's half-convinced he'd mix the two up on purpose.
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"Of course not."
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He tosses the topmost blanket toward the bottom of the mattress and slides his legs beneath the sheets, undoing in less than two seconds what it took her five minutes to make up.
"And if I wake up in the middle of the night and need a glass of water?" He folds under her stony expression. "Right. 'Get it yourself, Castle'."
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She unfolds her arms, letting them hang loose at her sides, her expression melting some.
"I'll probably be sleeping light anyway. I've been doing that these days, so if you need something, you can ask for it."
She hasn't noticed that tiny admittance about her stress; he'll either pick up on it or he won't.
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Suddenly, she looks smaller and more fragile than he's ever seen her.
"Yeah," he says quietly. "You know, you can, too."
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"You're all good for right now?"
Her gaze finds his again; it's easier for her to talk, to forget about another sleepless night lying ahead of her, when she's not the one being placed under the microscope of concern.
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There's a sharpness as well as a fondness in the way she utters his name; one hand braces along the back of the couch to keep her half-propped as she leans forward, hovering over him.
"This, right here? As close as you're going to get."
Dangerous is a good word for it. She's counting on her arm to hold her. One slip and she'll be right on top of him.
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Electricity jumps from his eyes to hers.
"I can work with this."
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The corners of her mouth are fighting not to turn upward; a few more beats and she's straightening up again, sliding around the mattress and dodging scattered couch cushions on the floor to head down the hallway towards her own bed.
"Go to sleep, Castle," she calls over her shoulder, flicking off lights as she goes.
Once she settles in her bed, sleep doesn't come easy. In fact, it's a long time before she drifts off, the red glowing lights of her digital clock burning a semi-permanent image behind her closed eyelids, and when she finally does sleep, it isn't for very long:
That's right, you do need me. Now back him off or Castle dies.
"No, please, no," she whimpers, fighting an invisible enemy before she wakes herself and sits up with a jerk, breathing hard.
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Castle spends about fifteen minutes throwing his body around on the mattress, trying to find the position of least resistance, uprooting the sheets in the process. It's no use. Castle's no sooner gonna' get any sleep on this couch than if he was shacking up in one of Kim-Jong's "luxury hotels."
The chair by the bookshelf will do. It's big, deep, and looks like it's seen its fair share of occupants over the years so the cushion will be pretty pliant. 'Copy of Unholy Storm in hand, Castle drops into the chair with a luxuriant sigh; this is far and above the conditions on the couch. He cracks the spine of the book and begins to read, using the streetlight outside for light.
He must have drifted, then dozed. (Is my writing that boring?) Something -- other than the jab of the book corner beneath his ribs -- woke him up. He strains in the dark, leaning forward, to hear.
Beckett.
And like that he's up, bumping elbows along the hall, trying to navigate her apartment in the dark. Heart hammering in his chest. His ribs feel like they're about to crack outward, every pulse of adrenaline leaving a stain underneath his tongue.
He pushes the bedroom door ajar.
"Beckett?"
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The light clicks on and she glances back, only to freeze, her eyes adjusting while her heart feels as though it's going to beat out of her chest. It's Castle, looking mussed and a little dazed from recently being woken up, and Beckett sags back against the mattress.
Right now, she's never been more grateful to see him standing there - even though fear is now giving way to embarrassment, slowly and gradually.
"I - I'm sorry," she stammers, her voice cracking on the last syllable. "You know, I was afraid that was going to happen, because it's been happening, and it did again, and I woke you up, and I'm so, so sorry." As the words continue to spill out of her mouth, faster and faster, she can feel the sound of her voice shaking, tremoring, as she clutches fistfuls of the rumpled sheets and does her damndest not to shed any tears over this.
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"Hey, hey, hey, now hang on..." He crosses the room and, for once, he's not taking inventory. He sits on the edge of the bed and puts his hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay? What happened?"
Jesus, she's shaking.
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When she looks over at him, she can feel her control slipping, her face crumpling up as her eyes glisten over.
"He was the only chance I had, the only one who knew who - who would want to do that to her, Castle?" It turns into a question halfway through, and she shakes her head, a teardrop tremoring on her jaw before it drops onto the bedsheets.
"Who would want to have my mom killed?"
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Coonan had been different.
He remembers losing track of the guy for a second (just a second; barely a blip on the radar) and then feeling the greasy muzzle of a gun digging into his scalp. Beckett's in front of him, her body squared in an Isosceles firing stance, tight as a piano wire. Pop! Pop! Pop! Who's playing with fireworks in the precinct? And Coonan's weight slumping down, Castle's arms free, his foot scudding fecklessly on the tile. Red tile.
Castle closes his eyes.
"I don't know," he whispers.
He draws his arm around her shoulder, folding her toward his chest.
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She clings in the interim, her hand clutching onto his shirt, sniffling once, leaving the remnants of her tears to soak in and dry on the finer fabric, crying silently, and it's a good while before she moves to lift her head, her nose brushing against the side of his neck while her eyes, their lashes damp, stick to her cheeks with each blink.
"I lost my mother to that son of a bitch," she whispers, her hand moving from his chest to graze along his cheek as she presses her forehead to the other one, breathing a little easier with every inhale and release.
"I don't know what I would've done if I'd lost you, too."
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He'd been profiling Kate Beckett since the first time they met. Trying to learn her habits, to understand what made her put her life on the line seven days a week, at the cost of family, friends and anything remotely resembling a personal life.
When she took down Coonan, he stopped profiling.
He draws his hand over the nape of her neck and gently pulls her away from him, just enough to place a kiss to the crown of her head. Then he gathers her back into his arms, sheltering her against his chest, as if he truly believes he can protect her from the things that keep her up at night, inside and out.
"I'm right here," he tells her quietly. "I'm not going anywhere."
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